Tuesday, May 27, 2008

My bare bottom spanking

As Mom would cook dinner in the evenings it would be a common event for us to take our bath as she was doing the cooking. After ten hours of being boys, making mud pies, squishing ants, climbing trees, kicking up dust and all, the first order of business would be for us to take that bath so as not to contaminate any food presented to us.

Just because we were in the bath tub though didn't mean that play time was finished. We got the great idea that we could play "boat launching" at the same time we got ourselves cleaned.

Our tub was slanted on the back end so we got it in our mind we could use that slant like a playground slide. I was the first to be the launching boat. I got up and onto the back part of the tub, curled my legs under me and let go to the tub sides and slid down into the water just as we had seen ships do on television when they were being christened to make their maiden voyage.
I smashed down into the water with big splash and laughed out loud at my new adventure.

Dennis got a good splashing of the water in his face and wanted to return the favor. (We always bathed together, did you have a bath mate?) We traded places with me down by the drain and Dennis now at the back of the tub getting ready for a maiden voyage of his own. He was getting weaker from the slow but steady progress of Muscular Dystrophy but still had enough strength to get himself situated and then off and down the tub slide for an even bigger splash than mine, that sent a goodly amount of water up and over the edge of the bath tub.

Now that we both had had a good turn we changed places and I had the challenge in my head of making my second slide a bigger and better slide than the one Dennis had just pulled. As I teetered on the back edge of the tub I had the sudden realization that there wasn't very much water left for me to slide into..."what had happened to the water?" I thought but didn't do much rationalizing as I sent myself down into the tub for my second splashing.

Just at that moment Mom walked into the bathroom to see what the raucous laughter was all about and witnessed my little cannonball dive into the tub with its accompanying splash of water. Might I remind you she had just arrive from the kithchen where she was trying to do the cooking and she had a pan in her hand she had planned on boiling some food in. At the sight of her bathroom floor having more water on it that what was in the tub, Mom lost her self control. She hurried over to the tub, pulled me up and out with one hand and commenced to paddle me with that pan on my bare, wet bottom...TWANG TWANG TWANG...I heard the sound ring out and felt the accompanying pain zip through my butt as I recieved my punishment for trying to be ship when I should have been a cleaner.

We were given implicit instructions to clean up the water mess we made or a return trip would be made with a bigger pan. Needless to say we mopped up that mess immediately and when we were done I had Dennis look at my bottom to see what kind of mark had been left.

"Whew!!! Your butt is soooo red. She got you good."

Sunday, May 18, 2008

If it was spring it was time for baseball

Like many of my youthful activities, we had to make do with what we had at the moment for our recreation. We had a ball and bat that we had made good use of. That poor ball was so well used that the threads broke loose and the leather covering had come completely off, rendering the ball useless to us anymore. Still addicted to the thrill of trying to hit something over the fence, we took the bat out wanting to use it again. We decided small rocks would work just as well for baseballs, so we assembeld a small pile of rocks that would satisfy the need. Stevie was with Dennis and me and was the first one to step into the batter's box while I did the pitching. It took several throws to get the hang of throwing something smaller than a baseball and also for Stevie to zero in on hitting something half the size of a ball, but on one perfect pitch he connected and sent the rock zinging. It was a perfect line drive that came right back to me on the pitchers mound and caught the right, top edge of my head, right at the hair line. The rock made a glancing blow richocheting away and I had an instant ringing in my ears. I found myself teetering to the right and stepped that way trying to catch my balance. I fell to the ground and rolled over on my back as the ringing persisted and the sky had a look of little circles that pulsed in front of me. I could hear Dennis and Stevie talking to me, but I couldn't see them and I had the sensation of a slow, warm, trickling of blood that was flowing down towards my ear. As the image of their two faces came into view above me a feeling of intense pain surged into my skull. I now realized what Goliath might have felt when he had his famous encounter with David from Biblical times. Had that rock been one inch lower and to the center it might have had the same final effect on me as it did for Goliath...I suppose God had a different plan for me...I'm glad he was on my side at that moment.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Ronnie and diapers Part II

One particular day I was put in charge of Ronnie, who was walking at the time, but still in diapers. Mom and Berta had gone off to the store, Vic and Dennis were several blocks away at our homemade swimming hole at the Mancos River and Ronnie had pooped his pants big time.
Being the wonderful baby sitter I was, I got his diaper off, rinsed it out and put it in that stinky laundry pail for Mom to wash. You remember cloth diapers don't you?
As I was rinsing out the messy diaper Ronnie decided it was time to go out and play so off he went, butt naked into the back yard to enjoy mother nature. I was a little worried when I couldn't find him in the house, but I had his new diaper in my hand and I went looking for him.
It didn't take long to find him and when I did, he threw one of those little brotherly fits because he didn't want me interferring with his life. He was, after all, not much smaller than me and shouldn't be taking orders from someone close to his size.
Try as I could, Ronnie just would not cooperate and get that new diaper on. The law of the house of course demanded that I take Ronnie to a higher authority to put the message into his brain he had to listen to me, so I grabbed his hand and started dragging him up to the swimming hole where Vic and Dennis were so Ronnie could get properly educated in just how much power I had over him at this moment.
Getting to the swimming hole required that I march right down the middle of town and in front of several businesses. I had done this many times before, but not with a naked child in tow. I got several strange looks and Ronnie was howling up a storm. I don't know which was more irritating, the people only cringing in horror and not helping, or the naked ball and chain behind trying to rip my arms out of their sockets. We must have been a vulgar sight to behold.
It was quite the wrestling match, but I finally got Ronnie up to the swimming hole where Vic spoke out loudly in disgust..."Ronnie doesn't have any clothes on!!!"
"I know that...duh!!...He won't let me PUT any clothes on him. Tell him he has to listen to me"
"Ronnie, you listen to Ricky and put your clothes on!!"
Vic said it with so much authority and conviction that Ronnie gave up his fight immediately.
We turned around and off we trudged again through the middle of town. The only thing that was better for me was the fact Ronnie wasn't screaming this time...The looks from all the people we passed by?? Well, I guess they just plain ol' didn't care much for the Main Street Streaker. You all know what a fad Ronnie started as streaking soon became the rage several years after that...a boy ahead of his time and I was proud I had my little part in history as well.

Ronnie and diapers Part I

When we moved into the Bauer House (the era of stories I am now relating to you all) Ronnie was still in diapers. One winter day Dennis and I donned our jackets and went out into the front yard to revel in the newest snowfall. It had to have been a good storm as it left a snow depth deep enough that we kicked through it launching imaginary footballs up into the air.
As we left the house though apparently we left the front door ajar and Ronnie toddled out onto the front porch in an attempt to come out and play with us. We had planned for our little venture outside and were well dressed but Ronnie was in sneak mode and stood on the front porch with nothing more than his diapers on. We saw him immediately and started in with our brotherly duties of watching over him.
"Hey Ronnie, come to me" said Dennis from his spot on the south side of the lawn. Then he signaled to me to do the same thing.
I immediately saw the fun in wondering which of us Ronnie would come to in his near naked state so I echoed the invite, "Ronnie, come this way. Come to me."
I'm sure he was already shivering, but Ronnie got the biggest smile on his face knowing he was being invited to play with his older brothers. He turned around and started off the porch in his backwards, going down the steps mode and stopped immediately in his tracks when his bare feet entered the snow. He found himself up to his little knees in the snow and was quite aware that the diaper was not doing enough to keep him warm. He started crying immediately which was a warning to us that Mom would be appearing any moment so we both started our run in his direction.
Mom's have that radar sense that allows them to hear their children's bleating and made her appearance before we could get to Ronnie and help save him. I don't remember any thing being said to either Dennis nor I about being neglectful, but then again, Mom didn't know that we had made a game out of calling out to the naked one in an attempt to see which of us he would come to.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Mother's Day

This is a short story I recall Dad relating which shows Mom's quiet commitment in knowing what is the right thing to do.
Dad told of the day when he was going to be presented in Stake Conference for a sustaining vote on becoming the new bishop of the Mancos Ward. He related that just the thought of standing up in front of all those people had him nervous to the point that he was thinking he would be better off forgetting the call and leaving to head back to Mancos to slip back into the life he was familiar with.
Mom, not wanting to go back to that life, held him firmly by the arm and walked forward by his side into the building and found the proper place to sit. As Dad related the story he expressed how Mom had a better hope than he did at the time for an improved life situation and refused to be by his side if he chose to go backwards but was fully supportive in getting him into a better future.
I know for my part that Mom has been supportive with me in my positive ventures and not condeming when I've done my stupid acts. I love you Mom and appreciate your quiet commitment in helping to make me a better person

Friday, May 2, 2008

My first kiss

It was summer time and my youth would soon be coming to an end. Fall would bring me to the halls of Mancos Elementary to start the first grade. This summer had to be one where I prepared myself to enter the arena with all other big people. Our neighbor to the south of us had her granddaughter, a girl my age, staying with her for the summer. Nancy wasn't like my sister or any other of the girls I knew. She came right over and wanted to play baseball with us. We were reluctant to let her play, until she knocked me down and took the ball away from me. She said she wouldn't give it back unless we let her play....she became the first baseman. This must have been symbolic because later on in the summer, Nancy would be the first girl I ever got to first base with. Nancy loved to climb trees, throw rocks and dig for worms. She was just like one of the guys...only she wasn't a guy and I knew it, even though I was only six. Our club wasn't very big, but Nancy fit right in and we spent many hours together every day. We talked about frogs and sports, little brothers and marshmellows. We played red rover and kick the can, catch and tag. Nancy had worked her way into my life, but still, I knew she was a girl...a girl I was beginning to like a whole lot. One afternoon as the sun was going down and the light of day was escaping fast from our back yard. Dennis, Nancy and I decided it would be a fun time to put together our make-shift tent. We always had to make do with whatever articles we could find when we embarked on some new experience like this one. We grabbed a big, black plastic tarp that Mom had used to cover vegetables earlier in the year. To make it like a teepee tent we used Dad's step ladder as the center pole and we gathered up quite a few rocks to use as the securing poles at different areas out side on the plastic. By the time we got our little tent all put together the sun was down and darkness had settled in. I was kind of feeling like we were our own little family and we had built our first home. I suppose it might have been only chivalrous and proper if I carried Nancy across the threshold of our new house, but I was just feeling a bit too awkward to ask her..."My beloved Nancy, let me carry you, my love into our new abode..."I did have a plan though and put it into action as soon as we were inside the tent. Just as the last opening of our tent was being closed I made a quick gander to see exactly where my true love was situated. With the closing of that last flap at night time, the inside of our tent was completely black. I moved over to where I remember Nancy being situated with my lips in a complete and full pucker...I made contact. Where, I wasn't sure.I immediately felt the hot flash of pain on the left side of my face and only a second later could hear and see that our tent was being destroyed. She had hit me!! It wasn't a girlie slap either. Remember, she was just like one of us guys. My face started to throb immediately.
"Hey!!! What was that?? Nancy shouted out. "Some one kissed me? Who was it?
Even though it was dark the expression on all of our faces was easy to discern. Dennis had a look of bewilderment. What was Nancy talking about?? Who kissed me?
Nancy had a look of fiery indignation...how dare any body kiss any of the one of the other of us when we were all just one of the guys? I'm not sure what kind of look I had. I just knew my face hurt and I hoped it was dark enough that no one could see the welt shaped knuckle indentation that surely was lodged there in the side of my face.
"Well!!! Which one of you kissed me???" demanded Nancy.
I could see Dennis was afraid to get himself pummeled so he spoke up the truth immediatly..."It wasn't me!!" he said.
Nancy turned her fiery eyes my way and I could see she still had her fist clenched ready to club me when I confessed my big sin."It wasn't me!!" I squawked out.
Nancy stood there looking back and forth at me and then Dennnis. Me and then Dennis, trying to figure out who was lying. All she had to do was check the side of my face to see the perfect mark match of that fisted hand, but she didn't. I was half tempted to ask her if she had kissed herself, seeing how neither Dennis nor I had kissed her, but I could see she was in no mood for any of my jokes. Nancy spun on her heels and stomped back over to her grandmother's house not to play with us again during what short time was left of that particular summer.
Dennis turned his bewildered gaze back my way. "What was that all about," he asked?
"Darned if I know," I replied, "Is that what they mean when they say girls are so unpredictable?
""Must be," said Dennis.
The next day when we got up I had a bit of black eye and that undeniable welt on the left side of my face.Dennis took one look and me and gave me a disappointed look...."Liar"...and that was all he said.