Saturday, May 10, 2008

Ronnie and diapers Part II

One particular day I was put in charge of Ronnie, who was walking at the time, but still in diapers. Mom and Berta had gone off to the store, Vic and Dennis were several blocks away at our homemade swimming hole at the Mancos River and Ronnie had pooped his pants big time.
Being the wonderful baby sitter I was, I got his diaper off, rinsed it out and put it in that stinky laundry pail for Mom to wash. You remember cloth diapers don't you?
As I was rinsing out the messy diaper Ronnie decided it was time to go out and play so off he went, butt naked into the back yard to enjoy mother nature. I was a little worried when I couldn't find him in the house, but I had his new diaper in my hand and I went looking for him.
It didn't take long to find him and when I did, he threw one of those little brotherly fits because he didn't want me interferring with his life. He was, after all, not much smaller than me and shouldn't be taking orders from someone close to his size.
Try as I could, Ronnie just would not cooperate and get that new diaper on. The law of the house of course demanded that I take Ronnie to a higher authority to put the message into his brain he had to listen to me, so I grabbed his hand and started dragging him up to the swimming hole where Vic and Dennis were so Ronnie could get properly educated in just how much power I had over him at this moment.
Getting to the swimming hole required that I march right down the middle of town and in front of several businesses. I had done this many times before, but not with a naked child in tow. I got several strange looks and Ronnie was howling up a storm. I don't know which was more irritating, the people only cringing in horror and not helping, or the naked ball and chain behind trying to rip my arms out of their sockets. We must have been a vulgar sight to behold.
It was quite the wrestling match, but I finally got Ronnie up to the swimming hole where Vic spoke out loudly in disgust..."Ronnie doesn't have any clothes on!!!"
"I know that...duh!!...He won't let me PUT any clothes on him. Tell him he has to listen to me"
"Ronnie, you listen to Ricky and put your clothes on!!"
Vic said it with so much authority and conviction that Ronnie gave up his fight immediately.
We turned around and off we trudged again through the middle of town. The only thing that was better for me was the fact Ronnie wasn't screaming this time...The looks from all the people we passed by?? Well, I guess they just plain ol' didn't care much for the Main Street Streaker. You all know what a fad Ronnie started as streaking soon became the rage several years after that...a boy ahead of his time and I was proud I had my little part in history as well.

2 comments:

Brooke said...

Dad, you are hilarious. I love reading your stories. You are so detailed. I feel like I am a part of the audience. You are great!! Ronnie! Get that diaper on!!

Amy said...

laugh! That is a great story!! Poor Uncle Ronnie. haha!!