It had all the markings of being a great week. The day before was filled with much laughter and reminiscing as many family members had met together at our house to share in the happiness of Joel’s homecoming from his two year mission in Baltimore, Maryland. Joel was our nephew, but had become more like the son we never had. He had made us proud of the change in attitude he had under gone since moving into our home to join the family six years earlier. The fact that it was his birthday was a mere coincidence, still it added a bit more luster to the day.
I think many of the visitors used Jayden as an added excuse to come by the house and stay a bit longer visiting and cooing at the newest arrival to the family. Jayden was barely six months old and getting cuter everyday as she grew and showed each us of something new every day. It was one of the reasons I’d get up each morning just to see her smile at me. She would wave her hands wildly and kick her legs in an animated effort to give me her best hello and let us know she had things she wanted to do.
Our oldest daughter Amy, and her husband were living in the downstairs area of our house as he made his way through college and offered us the blessing to be able to see and care for our dear grandchildren everyday. Conner was the older of the two grandchildren and was full of wonder and energy being the two year old toddler that he was. Jayden became our first grand daughter the previous November and we were enjoying the laughter and excitement that had been missing in our house for several years as we watched with amazement, the joy these two newest buds on our family tree were bringing to us.
It was Monday and I had just been awakened by my wife Dot as she was making her preparations to head out to start another work week. My attention was given to the chirping of a flock of birds that had taken up roost in the cherry tree situated in the backyard and probably about eye level with our upstairs bedroom window. I got up and peered out to see if I could count how many birds were making such a continuous conversation amongst themselves. I was surprised to find I couldn’t see a single bird, but knew they were out there just the same. I don’t have the best hearing, but it was evident that morning that my ears were better than my eyes. I’d soon be getting a message that my ears couldn’t believe and that would make my eyes tear up as well.
I have never been one to stay in bed when there is so much else to enjoy with the start of each new day. I turned my attention away from the birds and made my way down stairs to start my normal routine of the day. I went straight down the stairs and out the front door to retrieve my newspaper to catch up on the happenings of the weekend.
Everyone in our family had their own individual routine for starting the day. Dot had to be to work by 6:30 so she would stay in bed as long as she could and then do a rush, rush routine to get dressed, made up and out the door. She always prided herself in being able to get ready for the day within 20 minutes of getting out of bed. Sometimes I’d make toast for her, but most times she’d prefer to have a cup of hot chocolate and be on her way.
After our goodbyes and “have a great day” wish, I would settle into getting through the paper and doing my crossword puzzles. The headlines always hinted at what disasters and misfortunes were rampant through out the world and other people’s neighborhood and I always tried to not think of the fact that bad things could easily happen to me or my family.
I could hear Jayden rustling and crying a bit as I was finishing up my last blocks of the crossword puzzle and I waited momentarily to see if Amy would be attending to her soon. It is one of the perks of being a grandpa, I didn’t have the immediate responsibility of looking after a fussing child, but if anyone else was too slow to give attention then I could choose the be the first one on the scene to start the day for this precious baby of ours. We considered Jayden to be ours as well because we shared in the daily acts of bathing, diaper changing, feeding and all those required demands that a new one brings.
I was just getting ready to head downstairs and be the hero who started Jayden’s day, but Amy came out her bedroom door and headed towards Jayden’s nursery
“Jayden has been so fussy all night. I took her out for a drive during the night to help get her to sleep” Amy said. “I hope we didn’t keep you awake during the night.”
“No. I didn’t hear a thing at all last night and I doubt your mother did either. At least she didn’t mention anything before taking off.”
Amy looked tired already and the day had barely begun. She turned and whisked herself into the nursery to take care of Jayden.
Drat, I’d have to wait for another opportunity to be the hero.
With my crossword puzzle out of the way and my cereal gone it was time for me to make my way up to the shower and keep to my schedule that would lead up to my leaving the house to head off to another day at work. As I was getting into the shower I could hear Jayden crying again and knew she was fussy from having had another bout with her chronic bronchitis. She had several attacks during her short six months of life and the albuterol treatments were making her feel not quite her usual, happy self. Again, I waited that extra five seconds that we grandparents get before seeing if I could be of help with a fidgeting child……..hmmm not needed again. Maybe Jayden had finally fallen asleep. I got in and out of the shower, got dressed, took a few moments to write down some to do items, put away a few things and headed out the door.
I drove away from the house and arrived to work in a timely manner. All the joys and activities of the previous day were still fresh in my mind and the thoughts of all the love and blessings I was currently enjoying brought a broad grin to my face. What a lucky man I was. What a lucky man indeed.
I hadn’t been to work for even thirty minutes when Janet sent a page over the intercom for me as I was in the check stand.
“Rick, you have a phone call on 501”
Knowing that phone calls were not a proper thing to answer while in the check stand, I responded with, “I’m in the check stand, could you take a message please Janet?”
It wasn’t two minutes later that Dennis, my store director came and took my place in the check stand saying this was a phone call I needed to take.
I walked over to the nearest phone and picked it up.
“Hello this is Rick”
The voice on the other end was immediately recognizable to me as my neighbor, but she introduced herself just the same.
“Rick, this is Lavaun. Little Jayden has passed away and the paramedics are taking her to the hospital. You’re supposed to go meet Amy there”
Just like that Jayden was gone…..
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.
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Now I could use the help of any who remember that day and the week that followed. Please drop me a note and share your thoughts of that day. What you did...did you come to the house? Make a phone call?
The rest of the story details that week and will end at the gravesite where we had that final ceremony. I'll be looking for your response...Thanks
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6 comments:
I remember getting a call at work that morning from Steve, he told me that you had called and I had trouble believing the awful truth. I made immediate plans to leave work and head to Orem. Amy and I have always been close and I wanted to be with her. I took the extra long drive to Orem by driving through Logan and the Logan canyon. The scenery was gorgeous with more green than usual, I spent a lot of time praying and contemplating life on that drive. Steve couldn't leave work, so I made the drive alone. Which gave me much time for contemplation. The next few days are a blur. We went to temple square with Dietrich's family and talked about the nature of an eternal family. I cried with Amy and gave a lot more hugs than I usually do...I tend to not be much of a "huggy" person. On the day of the service, I went over early with Amy...I remember the enormous grief I felt...I wished I could remove some of the sadness that Amy and Dietrich were suffering. As I left to drive home that day I cried...probably for half of the drive home to Pocatello. Then I received my witness that Jayden would be taken care of, and that Amy would too. I had a testimony of this before, but the Spirit bore witness to me once again that families can indeed be together forever...and Jayden had her place secured.
Dad called me at work and I was called to the phone in the office from my room. I wondered what the big deal could be because teaching time is "sacred" and they always take a message. Dad said someone had called to say Jayden had died in her sleep. I couldn't believe it. We had just gotten home the evening before from Utah and Joel's homecoming. We had all been in church together and Jayden had been a bit fussy. Amy looked so tired and I took Jayden out to the foyer with me. Melanie was out there too with her little one. Jayden settled down in my arms and went to sleep. I went back into the meeting. Amy whispered, "Do you want me to take her?" I told her, "No". Jayden was such a beautiful baby and I was enjoying holding her very much. When I got the call the first thing that came into my mind was, "she can't be dead, I just held her yesterday, and she was fine!" I finished work that day and made quick plans for another trip back to Utah. I started praying for Amy the first thing and I kept a prayer for her in my heart and on my lips for many months afterwards.
Sorry Uncle Rick, I don't remember much about the dates and times etc. I just remember praying for Amy and watching people hug her and support her at the funeral.
WoW! I remember that day well. We were so happy to have Joel home. We were at your house in the upstairs room where Jerin and Jayden were playing together. They were only 3 months apart in age. It was such a happy day.. But, I do remember Joel calling and telling me that Jayden had passed away. I remember coming to the house and feeling so terribly guilty that I still had a baby. I just wanted to give Amy a hug and some flowers and tell her how sorry I was. I thought it would be better if I left Jerin in the car while I did this so as to not make things worse. I remember feeling how horrible it would feel to lose this precious baby. I came inside and Aunt Dot was in the kitchen with her sister Elaine. I set the flowers down and asked where Amy was? She told me that she was downstairs in Jaydens room. I went downstairs and her and Dietrich were in the room crying over the crib. It was so hard for me to see that and imagine the anguish they were feeling. I could not stay. I ran up the stairs crying and asked Dot to please let her know I was there.
A sad day to remember. I was doing my usual daily routine when Joel called. I was more than excited to have Joel home! I answered and could tell right away that something was wrong. He asked me to come and pick him up at the hospital. He told me that Jayden had died. I just couldn't believe it! I was just holding her. I went right to the hospital and Joel was looking out the hospital doors waiting for me. He walked to my car almost looking as if he were in pain. He got in my car and the tears started to roll down his cheeks. I asked him what had happened and he said he was in the kitchen and could hear Amy screaming Jayden's name and yelling "No Jayden, NO!" He said he ran down stairs and saw that Jayden was greyish in color. If I am correct he said that he took her from Amy and could tell that she had already passed. He said that he dialed 911 and told them that we have a dead baby. He had talked about the drive to the hospital with Amy. I don't think he started to cry until he got in my car. I found myself spending most of the week of the funeral with Joel. Jayden's passing was painful for me just to think of the pain that Amy was going through. It is a trial I pray that I will not have to recieve.
Well, I might not be one that you would think would remember that day, but I do. I was on my mission in Taiwan. I had talked to my family and Joel only one week before, on Mother's Day, just a few days after Joel had returned home from his mission. I was feeling a little homesick with Joel being home with my family and me being so far away. Then, on that Tuesday morning (Taiwan is 14 hours ahead of the US) my companion called to me and said I was wanted on the phone. When I got on the phone, I heard my mother's voice. Since this was not an "allowed" time to receive a call, the first thought that came to my mind was "who died?". Then my mom told me that Amy's baby, Jayden, had passed away. She told me that Joel had been at the house and had been the one to call 911 and she thought I should know. My mom understood that the Deans were like family to me. Over the next week I could not get Amy, Jayden or Joel off of my mind. I know this experience was so difficult for everyone that went through it, near or far. I made the decision not to call, but I sent a card to Amy and only hoped that I could show my love and the sorrow I felt for her loss. Even though I was being obedient, not calling was one of the hardest things I ever did. Sometimes I still wonder if it was the right thing to do. Your family was like my family and I ached for you all, even from so far away.
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